Enjoy your sleep.

No pills, no techniques, no bed can bring sleep. It’s all in you.

I’ve had insomnia for as long as I can remember. Growing up, sleep is my challenge. It was hard to come, especially at nap time.

My sleep problem gets bigger as I get old. I’m in my mid-30s now and I have never outgrown nor overcome my issue of sleeplessness. In fact, I fear that not getting enough sleep is slowly killing me.

The thing with me is I tend to bring my worries to bed. If I have a project in mind, I will plan everything while I lay down in bed when everything is dark and quiet. It seems like it is a natural thing to do. Think and wait for sleep to seep in. But some nights are different. There are nights when sleep would not just come. If it did, I would wake up in the middle of the night and would not return to sleep until two hours later. That’s two hours of sleep gone. I would wake up in the morning tired and worse, no bright plan for the project in hand.

In my twenties, I was so worried about not getting sleep that I could not sleep just worrying about it. I know worry was my problem so I devised a technique to shut off my worries. I would close my eyes and imagine myself running away from my demons, like I was in a staircase of a tall building. Once I reach the top, I would open the door and slam it in the face of my enemies. I would be in a room where it is peaceful and quiet. And no worry, not a tiny bit of it, can touch me.

The trouble with this technique is that it is not the least effective.

I once used sleeping pills. I did it because I did not feel safe where I lived so I was always on guard and could not sleep. So I bought a pill that says non-habit forming, simply go to sleep. Guess what, it did not work. The next day, I had to deal with the side effect of the drug: nausea and bitter taste in my mouth. Now, I don’t see the use of sleeping pills other than they are handy in case you want to kill yourself. Well, from what I see in the news, that is what most suicide deaths are – overdose of sleeping pills.

Going on, as I meet people who have the same predicament as I have, I began theorizing that sleeplessness is not caused by outside factors, like stress and worry. Mostly women, people are affected by sleeplessness or insomnia whether they have stressors or not. Sleeplessness is genetic. If it’s in the genes, I know I cannot fight it. And the pills on the market, the relaxation techniques, and the patented beds are just ploys. Nothing will cure sleeplessness.

I am not a doctor and I know my theory has no basis. It is just an assumption based on a lifetime of trying sleep soundly. I really believe that sleep is a natural trait, like having a nice hair, a good singing voice, and a knack for crafting. Sleep is something you are born with it. And as priceless as it is, sleep is something no one can buy or take away from you.