Bedtime can be very frustrating for you and your baby if she is not yet sleeping on her own. Oftentimes, it is mommy’s sleeping pattern that is ruined. Your child’s constant waking at night can deprive you of a good night’s rest and can compromise the quality of your day.

Your child should be sleeping on her own by age one. Ideally at this age, she should have mastered the skill of sleeping by herself. If not, then something must be wrong and something must be done.

It is hard to stand still while your toddler screams and howls begging for you to pick her up and lull her to sleep. But your child is growing and, at 30 pounds, is making it impossible for you to hold her and sing her lullabies in order to sleep. The solution? Toughen up.

“Let your baby cry,” according to Dr. Marie Gonzalo, a pediatrician from Sunny Clinic in Tampa Bay, Florida. “Eventually, your child will learn how to self-soothe herself and would sleep on her own.”

Crying at night can really be a source of stress for both parents. The easiest thing to do is to give in to your child, especially when one or both of you has to go to work the next day and you need a good night’s sleep.

But your child’s nighttime crying will not stop just by wishing it would vanish one night or when she is a bit older. The fact is, “you are encouraging her when you pick her up,” Gonzalo said. The earlier you train her, the earlier she would learn coping skills.

But you have to train yourself. Mostly, it is the parents who can’t keep up with the child. They feel like they need to comfort their child each time she cries. This is a natural reaction for parents. So parents need to teach themselves not to give attention.

When your toddler cries at bedtime, before going to sleep or upon waking up in the middle of the night, just let her. Don’t go to her room. If you co-sleep, just lay still and wait until she gets tired and goes to sleep by herself. “Just make sure that she is safe,” Gonzalo stressed.

It may take a week or a couple of weeks before your child get to learn how to sleep on her own. And it may be like an eternity for you but the good news is, it would eventually happen. There are just so many benefits when you and your toddler sleep well at night like both of you being happier and healthier. Tough love pays off and in great proportion.